7 Steps to a perfect relationship

STEP 3. TRUST

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After love and communication, here comes TRUST and now I am talking about that confidence, or that faith that we should have in each other. It’s that important feeling without it we can’t found a relationship.

I consider it important, because if we don’t have it, then we have nothing. Trust should be at the foundation of any relationship of love or friendship or whatever…but it has to be there! Or else….what is the point of being in a relation if you don’t trust your partner?!

In my case, trusting in another person comes naturally. I like trusting people even from the beginning. It doesn’t matter that, at first you are a stranger for me and we basically don’t know each other at all, I will trust you, or better said I will confide in you, because you might deserve it, everybody does, or at least until you show me that I shouldn’t have done it! Wouldn’t you like to be trustworthy and no one will ever doubt you? Well, I would like that, and that is way I am offering you my trust. Take it and take care of it 😉

And because I started talking about relationships and the steps which will help you have a perfect relationship, I will tell you why do I think trust it’s so important. If you love someone and you are in a romantic relation with him, trust comes naturally. It’s what you do when you love. You trust your partner because he trusts you too and there weren’t any reasons not to do that(if there were, then this is another problem). I have never doubted my partner, he never gave me the reasons to do that, and I am thankful for that. If trust doesn’t exist, then there might be a problem, and jealousy might appear, insecurities also, doubts, worries and other things or feelings like that, which will affect your mood and your relation.

I like to think that in a relationship there is no need for worries and doubts and jealousy….these are not the kind of feelings that we want to have when we love. Why should we worry so much? Why should we think all day at what is our partner doing right now? Why did he go to speak on the phone in another room? Why didn’t he answer the phone while we were there, next to him? Why is he staying late at work? Why did he came late at home? Now, really….are these your biggest concerns? Don’t you have something more important to do than to think at all these things, which, deep down inside you,  you know that are not valid? Do you really have the time for that? Instead of worrying so much about this, you could just trust him. It’s less time consuming, trust me! Believe him when he tells you that he didn’t want to answer the phone because he was having dinner with you….or it was just a call from work, and now it’s his free time…or maybe something came up at work and he had to stay late, or he forgot to call you, or he just wanted to hang out with his buddies and have a drink after work! This, doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you anymore or that it’s a sign that you shouldn’t trust him! These are all situations that might appear, and we have to deal with them like normal people do, without overthinking! It’s useless to worry when you don’t have to, when there aren’t any signs that you should do that! You are just complicating your life, without any good reason!

So, my advice to you is to TRUST your partners! They deserve that, because they trust you, too! Stop worrying so much, and just relax and be happy! You are in a relationship, you are loved and life is awesome, so enjoy it, because you deserve it! 😉 Take that leap of faith, and see what happens 🙂

Coming soon: Step 4 – FREEDOM

The 7 steps to a perfect relationship

STEP TWO: EXPECTATIONS

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If in the previous article I told you about the first step, which was love, if you remember, now I am going to tell you about the second step, and this is expectations. 

I don’t know about you, but I strongly believe that at the beginning of a relationship we should all say LOUD & CLEAR what we want, or better said, which are our expectations. What do you expect from this relationship? Do you want something serious, or is  it just one night stand? Are you willing to involve in it 100% or you are just looking for some fun? In my opinion we have to do that, (by that, I am referring to ask ourselves the above questions), because otherwise, misunderstandings will definitely appear. After you answered these questions, you can move along.  

We all know that the beginning is always hard and sometimes tricky because you don’t know each other very well, some of you are shy and you don’t have the courage to tell whatever you think because of the fear of being judged by the other person.  All that I can say is that you worry too much and you shouldn’t have to do that. It’s the right thing to do, at the beginning of a relationship to tell what you want.  Do you want honesty, or just fun, or commitment or communication, financial stability, a house with a pool and a car :D…whatever…you have to say it loud and clear. I want this, this and that…and I can give you that and that and that….end of discussion. What is the point of being grown-ups if we don’t have the courage to say what we think and what we want?!  Your partner can’t read your mind, can’t look into your big blue eyes and guess what you want from him/her….you have to tell him, he is not, and I repeat HE IS NOT a mind-reader! 😀 Don’t expect him to guess your wishes…because he won’t (at least not at the beginning); this type of communication comes after a while….so, tell him or her what you need, what you request and what you can offer to this relationship, to you. It will simplify things for you, because you will know where you stand and what is your position in all this relationship. 

So, stop thinking so much and stop analyzing what he or she will say or think about you, and just speak, tell whatever you want and ask what you need…don’t be afraid of talking and telling him or her about your plans for the future, your wishes, your expectations….If he or she like you and wants this relationship as much as you do, will understand and accept and will have the courage to share his or her expectations too…It is the right thing to do, trust me 😉 And if somehow you see him or her reluctant, then it’s not what you need. 

So, why shouldn’t we start our relationship with all cards on the table? Don’t you think it will be easier for both of you? Why should we waste precious time by talking about the weather, when we can talk about what we really want and need?! And remember, if you don’t say what you want and need and feel, nobody will do it for you, nobody will read your mind and guess your desires!!!  Try, and tell me what you think…:)

Changeling

La insistențele surioarei mele am văzut filmul ,,Changeling”/,,Schimbul” și nu mi-a părut rău deloc. Deși e un film din 2008, nu apucasem să-l văd. Drama este inspirată din fapte reale și îi are în rolurile principale pe Angelina Jolie, Michael Kelly și John Malkovich. Filmul în regia lui Clint Eastwood a primit nota 7,8 de la Imdb.

,,Changeling” își desfășoară acțiunea în Los Angeles în 1928 și spune povestea lui Christine Collins, mamă singură a unui băiețel, care după ce se întoarce de la servici într-o zi, află că băiatul ei a dispărut. Poliția va începe căutarea lui și după câteva luni, lui Christine i se aduce acasă un băiat care pretinde că este fiul ei. Ea își dă seamă că nu este copilul ei și va încerca să convingă poliția de greșeala comisă dar poliția coruptă nu vrea să audă de nici o greșeală și va face tot posibilul să o reducă la tăcere pe Christine. Christine va trece prin chinuri groaznice doar pentru că a îndrăznit să spună că poliția a greșit. Cel care o va ajuta pe Christine, va fi preotul Briegleb care îi va oferi resursele necesare pentru a-și susține cauza și a-și găsi băiatul.

Mi-a plăcut filmul și m-a impresionat. Nici nu se putea altfel, pentru că prezintă coșmarul oricărui părinte: dispariția propriului copil. Povestea este emoționantă, iar interpretarea Angelinei e superbă.

Brooklyn

Mai știți când plecați de acasă pentru prima dată ca să mergeți la facultate și să începeți o nouă etapă din viața voastră? Și vă mai aduceți aminte de dorul de casă, de prietenii lăsați în urmă și de lungile convorbiri la telefon cu părinții? Cum ar fi fost dacă nu ați fi putut vorbi cu cei dragi de fiecare dată când vi se făcea dor, sau dacă trebuia să corespondați prin scrisori care ar fi ajuns mereu cu mare întârziere? 🙂

Ei bine, filmul de față are legătură cu plecarea de acasă! ,,Brooklyn” este o dramă din 2015, în regia lui John Crowley, și o are în rol principal pe Saoirse Ronan, de care eu sincer nu mai auzisem până acum, dar care mi-a plăcut și m-a impresionat în acest film. Cei de la Imdb i-au dat 7,8 și cred că își merită nota; poate eu i-aș fi dat un 8, pentru a fost chiar bun.

Eilis Lacey este o tânără din Irlanda (o să vă placă cu siguranță accentul irlandez 😀 ), care ajutată de sora ei și sprijinită de un preot din America, va părăsi orașul natal și Irlanda, pentru a-și încerca norocul în New York. Vom ajunge astfel să o însoțim pe Eilis în Brooklyn-ul anilor 1950, unde deși îi va lua ceva mai mult timp să se acomodeze, va reuși să-și facă o nouă viață. Se va îndrăgosti de un italian și va avea parte de o frumoasă poveste de dragoste, până când va primi o veste tristă de acasă. Mai multe nu vă spun, pentru că trebuie să-l vedeți 😉

În afara faptului că interpretarea lui Saoirse mi-a plăcut foarte mult, filmul m-a captivat prin simplitatea lui și prin frumoasa poveste de dragoste dintre Eilis și Nick.

Procesul de maturizare e întotdeauna dificil, dar e mai greu atunci când ești departe de casă și de ai tăi. Eilis ne arată că se poate, chiar dacă viața nu e întotdeauna roz, important e să ne dăm silința, să încercăm și să nu renunțăm, pentru că de obicei, fericirea ne așteaptă chiar după colț 😉

The 7 steps to a perfect relationship

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Of course you will wonder why did I pick 7? It’s easy: it’s my favourite number 😀 and…it has also some other more important meanings, which I won’t discuss here, because that’s not the topic nor the time!

Let’s see, as I was telling you, there are seven steps that will lead you to a perfect relationship, the one that you always dreamed of. Today I will tell you about the first one, the best, the one without we can’t live and we value most (or at least we should). I also have to add that I’m not an expert, I don’t know much about relationships (except mine and my friends 😀 ), but I like writing and sharing my thoughts on any subject, and today’s subject is love and relationships 🙂

STEP ONE: LOVE

Love, of course….what else? We could do nothing without it, and we wouldn’t have a relationship if we didn’t have love. Love – that wonderful feeling which gives you butterflies, that helps you connect with other human beings, which gives you hopes for a different life story, which makes you get up happier in the morning, which gives meaning to your life….because you just know that you love and you are loved… that mutual feeling that gets you closer to another person, THAT person, your SOULMATE.

How do we know that is love and when does it appear? Well, I will tell you about my case..I had crushes in the high school, then I had some other crushes while I was a student at the university…I cried and I laughed and I thought that I was in love, until one day, I met HIM, my future husband. I can’t say I loved him from the first moment (and he knows that, it took me some time to admit that I loved him 😀 ) I put my eyes on him, it didn’t happen like that…love, in my case, came after a month or so, I think….when I just knew that HE was the one with whom I will definitely get married. Even now, when I think about it, I can’t explain it. I just felt it, inside me; a voice told me that HE was THE ONE I was waiting for, and then I knew that everything else, any other feeling that I had and I thought it was love, it wasn’t. This was IT. This was LOVE. That type of love about I have read.

And now, after a couple of years, my love for him is still the same, or maybe not…it’s even bigger. The feeling grew bigger and bigger and bigger and stronger, as the time passed by. He still gives me butterflies (which is a surprise even for me), he makes me laugh and he takes care of me. He surprises me every single day and he is the love of my life. I still have moments when I just want to spend time just with him, just the two of us, without doing nothing, just being unsocial together (it doesn’t make sense, I know, it’s weird :D…we are kinda weird 😀 ), I just want to have him just for me, and this makes me a little bit selfish, I think, but it doesn’t matter 🙂

Going back to the first step, I can tell you that you will know, you will feel it and you will like it!!! You will love to love, to fall in love, to be loved. And, if you are in a relationship now, and you don’t feel it, just give it some more time, and if it still doesn’t come, then it’s not it, it’s not that special feeling that I’m telling you about. So, don’t lose any more time, go and find it, don’t just wait for it to happen, don’t dwell in a relationship that doesn’t have the most important ingredient, it’s base, the foundation, (it’s not worth it!), because sometimes you have to make an effort to bring it in your life!

And if you are not in a relationship right now, don’t rush into one just because you don’t like being alone…that’s not the right thing to do, believe me. Love comes in your life, when you are ready, at the right moment, not too early and not too late….love will find the perfect timing to appear, and then your entire life changes, in the good way :D, you’ll see 😉

To conclude with this first step, I just want to add that LOVE is the most important thing or better said feeling, that will bring you wonderful experiences, happiness and peace. You will feel complete, and then you’ll know 😉 That’s LOVE!!!!

 To be continued 😉

Spotlight

Un film foarte bun, drept dovadă și nota de 8,3 a celor de la Imdb! Protagoniștii sunt câțiva jurnaliști interpretați cu măiestrie de Rachel McAdams, Michael Keaton, Liev Schreiber și Mark Ruffalo.

Filmul din 2015 a primit 6 nominalizări la Oscar, 3 la Globul de Aur, 3 la BAFTA și a câștigat un premiu Veneția.

Echipa de jurnaliști de la Spotlight, de la ziarul The Boston Globe investighează abuzurile sexuale ale preoților catolici. Investigația va duce la o criză de proporții mari în rândul bisericii și va scandaliza întreaga lume prin scoaterea la iveală a celei mai mari mușamalizări. Filmul se bazează pe fapte reale care au avut loc în 2002.

Mi-a plăcut filmul datorită interpretării actorilor și a felului în care regizorul a surprins viața de jurnalist. Spotlight este o poveste despre eforturile depuse pentru aflarea adevărului, consecințele acestuia asupra oamenilor și a societății și despre sacrificii. Deși subiectul filmului este destul de șocant, merită văzut 😉